Goosebumps

by Smashy Claw

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4 new tracks inspired by some truly stupid book titles

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released October 20, 2016

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Smashy Claw Longmont, Colorado

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Track Name: Let's Get Invisible!
I drank a serum that was meant to make the drinker go invisible
It didn’t work at all
Yet another formula to tweak
It tasted funny and they paid me lots of money
But they still could see every part of me
They say that we’ll try again next week

Let’s get invisible
Or not, whatever, either way I’m paid
Clinical testing’s getting better everyday

I signed a waiver, meaning I couldn’t complain
That time my skin went clear
It felt a little weird having bones and organs on display
With each attempt they’re getting closer, but I bet
That I’ll be dead before they finally know for sure
But rats in labs can be replaced

Let’s get invisible
Or not, whatever, either way I’m paid
Clinical testing’s getting better everyday

Did someone lightly brush your hair?
But when you look there’s no one there?
Did they whisper in your ear?
But there was no one there for you to hear?

Let’s not be cynical
Stranger things have happened, wouldn’t you say?
Visual stimulus is overrated anyway
Let’s get invisible
Or not, whatever, either way I’m paid
Clinical testing’s getting better everyday
Track Name: Say Cheese and Die
I just bought a camera
But I am thinking I should return it
When I click to take a pic
The people in the picture wind up dead
I can’t explain it, why do they die?

Say cheese and die
It could be a coincidence
But I’m thinking death lurks in that lethal lens

Who’d have thought that when I bought
An item from that creepy gypsy stand
There would be some unforeseen
And Twilight Zoney consequence at hand
The shutter’s coming down like a knife

Say cheese and die
Should’ve gotten suspicious when
I saw the aperture was 666

I wrack my brain, but I don’t know why
Say cheese and die
Maybe that’s why
The camera shoots you like a gun
And the photo album graveyard’s filling up
Track Name: The Haunted Guitar
Everybody say I play real good guitar
Everybody say I play real good guitar
But truth be told, I’m really not that good
It’s just a poltergeist has possessed the wood
And now we’re rocking to the haunted guitar’s song

Everybody thinks it’s me who plays the notes
But it plays itself like a player piano
Maybe I should go and get an exorcist
But if I did it probably wouldn’t play like this
And no one would be rocking to the haunted guitar song

Maybe we should have a séance in the strings
And if the spirit hears it he can tell us why it sings
For now the phantom’s jamming with the band for free
My hands are moving so they think that it’s all me
What rocks us is the raucous haunted guitar’s rocking song

Once I left the stage cause I really had to pee
It stayed there levitating, playing even without me
Yeah, it’s kind of creepy, but it pays the rent
Demonic pentatonic running cross the fret
As all are hopping bopping to the haunted guitar song
Track Name: The Blob That Ate Everyone
My lab coat got some shmuts on it
When I dropped a dozen beakers of solution
The chemicals began to mix
It bubbled up to ten feet tall
The blob that ate everyone
Pitchforks and torches and guns couldn’t stop
The blob, it ate up the mob
Devouring everything, everyone in the town
The blob that ate everyone

It was the blob that ate everyone
A trail of slime left where it crawls
It was the blob that ate everyone
Cause if you’re playing god, you might just end up inside a blob

A world that was once lively and vibrant
Is now dead and deafeningly silent
And all that’s left is the blob

It was the blob that ate everyone
Has a hankering for human blood
It was the blob that ate everyone
Through its translucent skin, see all the faces floating within